I would like to sincerely apologize for my silence over the past few months. It was wrong of me to disappear from social media and blow off meet and greets without so much as an "I'm okay" tweet. The truth is, I have some news that I have been a little hesitant to share with all of you. I have spent the past seven months trying to build up the courage to come forward and ask for your support but shame and insecurity kept me away.
Well, here it goes...
This is me.
I know. I know what you're thinking. How? How could this be Proton? What happened?
My silence, my weight gain, my secrets. I will explain everything and I hope each of you will understand.
I have spent many hours staring at the above photographs with both adoration and disbelief. Four time figure model champion (left) and the highest paid mouserFIT instructor in the region (right). What changed?
It all started with the castle. That damn castle.
What I thought to be an excellent gift--a place to relax, to look out the window, to stretch, and bathe, soon began to change me.
I no longer cared to do the things I loved. I began cancelling mouserFIT classes, stopped posting weekly fitness tips on IG and forget about chicken breast and sweet potatoes, I began to crave gluten shaped to resemble a fish!
Things went from bad to worse when a friend brought over some catnip one evening. I have always been an active member of the anti-catnip campaign but curiosity got the better of me. Once, sometimes twice, a day I'd lounge in my castle and enjoy a little bit of the nip.
With catnip, of course, comes the cravings...
My therapist says that it's time for me to take a good long look in the mirror. So I have taken some time to think about my recent life choices.
I am happy to announce that I have made the brave decision to nap in places other than my castle at least once a week and to add some color to my diet.
I've accepted that the past is the past and I will never again be the litter box cover model I once was (photograph below).
Which is cool because I'm way too tired to deal with incessant agents and make-up artists, anyway.
Peace out, ya'll